Ali C. Lopez, a trans woman shares her dating hardships: 'Men nowadays are expecting princess treatment'

Ali C. Lopez, a trans woman in her early thirties, has recently opened up about her dating life, providing an intimate glimpse into the struggles she faces while trying to find genuine connection. As society evolves, so do expectations, and Ali has found herself caught between the desire for authenticity and the pressures of the modern dating scene.

"Men nowadays are expecting princess treatment," says Ali, emphasizing how the traditional dating roles have taken a dramatic shift. It seems that while many men of the past may have been chivalrous in their pursuit of a partner, the new generation expects to be courted themselves. This changing dynamic has made it even more difficult for women like Ali, who often bear the burden of proving their worthwhile facing skepticism simply because of their gender identity.

Ali shares that many of her experiences on dating apps have left her feeling disillusioned. “Men often come to me with unrealistic expectations,” she says, recalling countless dates where she was expected to pay for meals, provide emotional labor, and even plan extravagant dates. “I feel like I'm the one doing all the work to make them feel special, and sometimes, they don’t even bother to hide their entitlement.”

Ali's journey through dating is a reflection of a wider issue—the shift in gender roles and expectations. Traditionally, men were often seen as the pursuers in romantic relationships, taking charge of making the first move and creating an atmosphere of care and consideration. But now, Ali feels like the roles have flipped, and it’s often women who are left holding the responsibility to impress.

She describes one particular instance, meeting a man she had matched with on a popular dating app. He seemed genuinely interested at first, and Ali was hopeful. However, by the end of the date, he turned the conversation towards what he expected from a future partner, which included a list of qualities—nurturing, financially supportive, and someone who could "pamper" him like royalty. “I was shocked,” Ali says, “It was almost like he wanted a mother rather than a partner.”

Despite facing rejection and unfair expectations, Ali remains determined to find someone who truly sees her for who she is. Being a trans woman, she often finds herself having to educate men about her identity, and unfortunately, not everyone reacts with the same level of empathy and understanding. “There have been so many times that after I come out, they ghost me or suddenly act differently,” she shares, “It's exhausting, but I’m not going to let it stop me from being myself.”

Ali’s story isn’t just about the struggle to find love; it’s also about resilience. She recognizes that the modern dating landscape is complex for everyone, but being a trans woman adds extra layers of difficulties. Ali describes how important it is to set boundaries and hold onto her self-worth amidst the numerous challenges. “I know I deserve someone who loves and respects me for who I am,” she states, and it is this belief that keeps her moving forward.

Many women today, both cisgender and transgender, echo Ali’s frustrations—men expecting to be pampered, served, and constantly affirmed without offering the same in return. This imbalance has left many feeling tired and undervalued, and for Ali, these feelings are magnified by the additional stigma and misunderstandings surrounding her identity. "All I want is someone who meets me halfway, someone who sees me as equal and not someone to serve them."

One of Ali's ways of coping with the challenges of dating is by seeking community among other trans women and allies who understand her struggles. “It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this,” she says. Ali often finds solace in her friendships, which provide her with a support system that understands the nuances of her experiences.

Ali hopes that by sharing her story, she can help challenge societal norms and encourage more empathy and understanding, particularly for transgender individuals navigating relationships. “Dating is hard for everyone,” she admits, “but I think people need to realize that trans women are not here to fulfill fantasies or act as a cure for someone’s loneliness. We deserve real love, just like anyone else.”

Despite the setbacks, Ali remains optimistic about her future. She knows that there are people out there who are capable of genuine love and respect. Her story is not just about heartbreak; it is also about the hope that one day, someone will come along who sees her true worth—someone who doesn’t need her to “pamper” them, but who wants to build a partnership where they both uplift and cherish each other.

In the meantime, Ali focuses on bettering herself, enjoying her hobbies, and surrounding herself with positivity. “I don’t need a man to validate my worth,” she says with a smile, “I am my own princess, and one day, the right person will see that.”